Did You Know That Stress, Anxiety or Depression Are Often Caused By Unresolved Trauma From Life Events or Early Childhood Experiences?
As a relationship therapist, over 90% of couples I work with have experienced trauma in their lives. Most don’t recognise that the chronic stress, anxiety or depression they’re experiencing has its roots in childhood experiences or life events that haven’t been dealt with.
Many think that trauma occurs from a major accident/incident, and yes, this can be true. It’s also true that emotional environments that caused you to ‘feel less than’ or experience neglect/abandonment/abuse also fall under the umbrella of ‘trauma’.
Support for trauma has been woeful to date - with many people re-living experiences that only add to the trauma.
Using ‘talk therapy’ for trauma simply doesn’t work.
How Trauma Effects Relationships
I used to believe that all a relationship needed to feel more safe and secure was healthy, positive communication. The sort of communication that softened engagement because it came from a place of compassion.
While I still believe this, I know the reason a couple, or an individual, can’t get past problems that stop them from truly connecting is due to unresolved trauma.
This trauma may be from childhood, a life event where they felt they had little control or power, or an environment that isn’t supporting their needs.
As a result, the body aims to keep you safe by drip feeding stress hormones into your system, so that you remain vigilant and on high alert for perceived danger - often in the form of emotional, social, mental or physical ‘danger’.
The body isn’t designed to carry this level of toxicity and can lead to serious health problems (eg fibro myalgia, gut problems, food intolerances, irritable bowel syndrome, chronic pain, tiredness - to name a few), which contribute to a poor quality of life, disengaged relationships and a vastly reduced sense of connection and purpose in one’s life.
If you’re experiencing any of the following, then please keep reading:
Ever feel anxiety's grip on your life is leaving you overwhelmed, stuck and stressed?
Are you feeling a growing cloud of negativity shadowing your life?
Do you struggle to release past grievances?
Perhaps you feel deeply isolated, unseen in social settings?
How often do you get caught in an endless cycle of pursuing perfection?
Have you ever hit a breaking point where you daydream about escaping it all?
It's tough when you're stuck in your own spiraling thoughts.
Anxiety and stress are undeniably real, particularly when they’re at chronic levels. Medical research shows that chronic stress may contribute between 70% and 90% of all chronic health issues.
By the time I see a couple, one (or both) are stressed to the max …
… and the real issues of just not feeling enough or appreciated are hidden beneath defensiveness, stonewalling or cruel words.
On a personal level you may notice your nervous system feeling frazzled, leaving you with zero energy and max-ed out resentment.
Perhaps you're seeing your relationship crumble before your eyes, and feel helpless to change.
You may feel overwhelmed, horrified by the person you’ve become - where did this anger come from.
Beneath all of this, self-blame and an overwhelming sense of worthlessness take root.
Real Relief Is Possible.
Imagine:
Imagine waking up with a surge of energy and genuine joy, ready to embrace the day rather than feeling exhausted and defeated.
Picture yourself feeling calm, composed, and in control, even when faced with unexpected challenges and disruptions.
Experience the liberation of being your authentic self—relaxed, genuinely happy, and fully present with your loved ones.
Embrace a new perspective where you see yourself as inherently deserving of success and all the wonderful things life has to offer.
Take a moment to imagine how your life would look if anxiety and stress were things of the past, and you felt finally free to live your life authentically, positively engaging with friends and family and genuinely happy.
Traumatic experiences can affect how you think and feel about yourself
Your subconscious mind gives you what you want, based on what you believe about yourself.
If you belief you're an incredibly intelligent, captivating and lovable individual, your subconscious belief system will align with this truth, opening doors to one opportunity after another.
Conversely, if you believe you're unworthy of love, perpetually misunderstood, and simply not deserving of an extraordinary life, your belief system will reinforce this narrative, shaping your reality accordingly.
Adding insult to injury, you might unknowingly undermine your own relationships or career prospects as a direct result of feeling inadequate and unworthy deep down.
From years of working with people from all walks of life—self-doubt and unresolved issues from their early years often lurks beneath the surface. These unresolved issues tend to reach a boiling point within their relationships.
The result is an over-reliance on coping mechanisms (or more correctly survival strategies) that can take various forms—addictions to pornography, alcohol, drugs, sex, excessive exercise, work, procrastination or finding yourself frozen and powerless - as if caught in a never-ending groundhog day.
Here's the catch: most of this behavior is driven on a subconscious level that’s designed to protect you—although, it rarely feels that way when anxiety and stress take center stage, dictating your every move.
Let's acknowledge a vital truth: the origins of stress and anxiety often lie deep within the experiences of our early years, those crucial moments before we even reached the tender age of 7.
How this impacts relationships
Many couples I work with share stories of a challenging childhood, marked by confusing and contradictory messages.
Some experienced abuse that today would be reported as criminal, and at the very least, callous.
Thankfully these young children survived.
Often in the process of survival though, their emotions were shut down to cope with the horror they witnessed, the abuse received or the loneliness and isolation they endured.
Others were labelled as ‘too sensitive’ and felt rejected when simple needs weren’t met. They’re left with a feeling of not being understood. As if they’re unlovable, unwanted, worthless.
It doesn’t have to be like this
After years of searching, I finally found a groundbreaking program with the power to shift anxiety, stress and depression.
Instead of spending years in therapy gazing at your navel, anxiety and stress can be shifted easily through an extraordinary blend of imagination, sensory experience and updated core beliefs.
In just 4-5 sessions you have the potential to be the authentic 'you' - the you were always meant to be.
Hope for change - these are stories from recent clients who no longer experience (or significantly reduced) stress or anxiety:
Trent shares his personal experience about working with me and the results he achieved.
Lucy, a recent client says:
Before I came to see Barbara, I was experiencing low moods, low self-esteem, high anxiety and leaky boundaries. It was putting stress on the relationships in my life, and I wanted to find some calm again.
Before I started the process with Barbara, I was slightly apprehensive at looking into past traumas in my life and I also didn’t know what to expect, was this going to be the right thing for me?
Barbara was so gentle in her approach and tailored the sessions to my needs, I felt so supported, cared for, and encouraged that it was time to make some big changes.
Since finishing the course, I have felt calmer and a stronger sense of self. I feel more self-assured than ever before, and I have noticed my relationships are improving as well.
I would highly recommend Barbara for her care and gentle approach; you really feel she is your personal cheer leader wanting the best outcome for you.
"I wanted to say a huge thank you for making such a positive impact on my life at what I found to be a really difficult time. I will be eternally grateful for what you have taught me and feel very fortunate to have found you!" Client - November 2023
This client received a 97.5% reduction in depression, 100% reduction in anxiety and an 81.82% reduction in stress. Can you imagine the positive impact it is having on her life?
“This has been 100% life-changing”, (Brendan)
Before doing this program I felt down, lethargic, had low confidence, was worried, and negative.
At first I felt uncertainty about the process, because I was unsure exactly what was involved, and unsure about doing it online.
I found it was good having the sessions close together, and then following them up by listening to the audios – it was a lot of intense work. The approach was positive, methodical, and it made sense. I understood why things were done, and realised that doing it over zoom gave me the chance to switch off and rest after the sessions which I couldn’t have done if it was in the office.
As a result, I’m happy, more positive and enthusiastic about life. I’m a lot more confident in myself. Internally, things from the past aren’t holding me back and I’m not attached to them. I have good strategies to continue.
I’d recommend the program if someone is ready to do the work and really wants to be well. If you’re stuck and you think there’s something invisible you can’t get past, then do it. It’s 100% life changing.
My relationship has improved and I’ve become a better person in the relationship. I’ve become more responsible, have more integrity and honesty, and I don’t have fear or anxiety about the relationship. I’m a lot more positive and accepting about the relationship. I’m not being a victim anymore. My partner is seeing me looking after myself more, being more consistent and more reliable.
What does this program involve?
The program involves 3 Intensive Phases:
Phase 1: Empowering - conducted over 2 sessions
This phase begins with ‘pre-work’ prior to your first intensive session. You’ll be asked to reflect on & answer questions about your early life experiences, distressing events and changes you want to make.
During your first intensive session, we’ll establish a base-line around what you are currently experiencing with stress, depression and/or anxiety using a brief assessment tool.
Your session will focus on:
Raising your personal awareness around conscious choices necessary for change.
Initiating change through deep subconscious work that involves richly felt dynamic experiences using the language of the unconscious - your imagination. This work lays the groundwork for your future intensive sessions.
Connecting the conscious and unconscious mind to align positive beliefs that reinforce the work you’re doing, while disconnecting any self-sabotage that may be operating at a deep level.
Daily exercises to embed the depth of your first intensive session.
Phase 2: Reprogramming - conducted over 1 to 2 sessions (depending on individual needs)
In this phase, you’ll focus on building a sense of empowerment within your mind and body.
You’ll be discovering how to embody and direct your energy.
You’ll shift old narratives where you may have felt a ‘victim’ of your environment, been mistreated/abused and/or emotionally neglected.
The depth of this work gives you the power of choice and is highly effective.
This phase can involve one-two sessions, depending on your personal situation and needs.
You’re asked to continue reinforcing this dynamic work through revisiting aspects of Phase 1 while also noticing shifts in yourself, your well being, sense of peace/calm, and ease of managing emotions.
Phase 3: Future Setting - conducted over 2 sessions
The final phase is the crown of this work as it therapeutically draws together your new experiences, felt senses, shifts in stress/anxiety and introduces your subconscious to an empowered you.
Here, we’ll continue the subconscious work to prepare for a future that aligns your mind and body to work harmoniously together.
This phase can involve one-two sessions depending on your progress.
You’ll receive a copy of this rich embodiment work to continue reinforcing the changes you’ve chosen for your life.
Details:
The sessions are conducted in person and/or over zoom.
Each session is approximately 1.5-2 hours in length (at times it may be longer).
Following each session, I’ll ask you to take additional time to rest so your mind has the space to process and integrate the work.
The work we’ll be doing together involves using your creative mind (your imagination), as this is the power house of the subconscious mind. Through a guided process you’ll be using rich details to shift old patterns and embed positive beliefs to support you and your goals moving forward.
While no one can change the past, we can reduce its impact on you from the day you begin working with me.
Prior to the work, you’ll be asked to complete a detailed questionnaire that you’ll complete and return to me.
After each session, we’ll debrief together.
Here are some things clients are noticing after working with me:
If things haven’t gone to plan, I adjust easily - it’s not a big deal, whereas before doing this work I would have become overwhelmed.
I’m not worrying about things the way I used to.
I’m more grounded and positive.
I’m bringing more to the relationship as I’m more positive and have a stronger sense of myself.
I can’t believe how much of a difference this has made.
I can be in a crowd and not be looking for an exit plan
I’m going for a job interview, previously I wouldn’t have applied as I would have overthought the whole process.
The perception of myself has improved.
I feel emotionally stronger, I’m not allowing myself to be chipped away.
My partner says “I’m more in the moment” than I have been before.
I’ve gone from not being able to trust anybody and that has held me back in my relationship, career and affected the sense of who I am.
I feel different, there was a shift right after the first session - I’m more aware.
I’ve gone from not wanting to get out of bed because I lost my partner to feeling joy with the thought of a new day - this stuff works.
I feel like a burden has been taken off me.
I’m feeling stronger and have more self worth.
I’ve had stress every day of my adult life - it felt like my chest was being crushed - now … it’s gone. Totally.
I’m hearing my partner’s perspective (and vice versa) in a way I couldn’t have before doing this work.
Recently I attended a networking event and instead of feeling anxious and overwhelmed about meeting new people, I walked in confidently and calmly - amazing experience to feel this free.
Testimonials
Another client said this about the program:
Before I started the program I was experiencing a shit show – in every area of my life. Most areas of my life weren’t going well. I’d tried many things, and while at times I felt supported, nothing changed.
Initially I was very skeptical about the program – and wouldn’t have done it without having worked with Barbara. I trusted her professionalism.
I found going through the program difficult, yet throughout I felt safe, supported, guided and cared for.
The main change for me, now that I’ve completed the program, isa sense of acceptance. I used to think there was something wrong with me, that I was defective and I’d have to live like this forever. I carried a sadness. Now, it’s so good not to feel like this everyday. (Client: LR)
Troy said this about the program:
Before working with Barbara I had rage and anger issues and constant anxiety that was causing disharmony in family life.
For me, doing this program has been very life changing. The first session was absolutely amazing, as if having an out-of-body experience.
Since finishing I’m able to calm myself more easily, rage and anger has subsided 80%, I feel more in control of my mind, and the decisions I make. Generally I have a better understanding of how I feel.
I’d recommend this to anybody who is looking to genuinely make a change, and who is wanting to take that extra step to change things they don’t want in their life any more. If you don’t want to make the change, then it’s not going to work, you need to be invested.
What’s the price?
As the work is uniquely tailored to your personal situation and requires a depth of preparation and analysis, the price for the complete program is valued at over $2500.
Presently, with our current offer, you can pay-as-you-go with each appointment being $350. The majority of people require 4-5 appointments to fully benefit from this work.
This is a significant life-changing saving that has the potential to:
Save your relationship (if anger/anxiety/overwhelm are regular features in it)
Save your health (the effect of chronic anxiety and stress on your body’s auto-immune system is well documented)
Save your sanity - anyone who has lived with anxiety, depression and stress knows how debilitating these states of mind are
How much would saving your relationship, your health and your sanity be worth to you?
Your individualised program includes:
Analysis of your ‘homework’ to gain a deeper understanding of your core unconscious beliefs you may be holding about yourself, and the patterns that are possibly running your life. (You’ll receive homework via email a week prior to your appointment which involves answering a series of questions which I’ll use to design your specific program).
4-5 intensive sessions of up to 2 hours
Follow-up emails after each session
A check-in 4 weeks after the completion of your core program
Tools to help you continue reinforcing the power of this work in your daily life.
What will you expect to see as a result of doing this work?
My goal is for you to experience:
Improved sense of well being due to a significant drop of depression, anxiety or stress
Enhanced sense of peace and calmness: You'll experience greater personal peace and calmness as anxiety, depression, and overwhelm are things of the past. This work helps your body return to its natural rhythm after stressful events, preventing panic, anger, or rage.
Improved attunement in relationships: Your connection with your partner and other relationships will strengthen. You'll navigate challenges with ease, understanding, love, and diplomacy, without being intensely triggered by emotions.
Renewed energy and well-being: Your mind will no longer be burdened by negative self-talk and self-sabotage, resulting in a renewed sense of energy and well-being.
Increased confidence in expressing needs: You'll have more confidence in asking for your needs to be met because you'll finally believe that you are worth being heard.
Deepened connection to values and beliefs: This work will help you establish a deeper connection with your values and beliefs, empowering you to understand your purpose and place.
Deeper love and self-compassion: You'll experience deeper relationships with your loved ones and yourself.
Improved health and body awareness: You'll enhance your health by becoming more attuned to your body and its needs.
Moving away from addictive behaviors: This work will support you in breaking free from addictive patterns and behaviors.
Building purpose and empowerment: You'll develop a sense of purpose and empowerment to achieve your goals and dreams.
It's important to note that this program is tailored specifically to your needs and is not a one-size-fits-all approach.
If this resonates with you, I invite you to book your first session using the calendar below. Afterward, email me your preferred dates for the next four sessions, spaced one week apart.
IMPORTANT: If you're interested but don't feel ready for this work, please refrain from proceeding. This program is for individuals who have had enough of being held back from showing up authentically in their relationships and lives.
THIS PROGRAM WON’T WORK IF:
You're not committed to making changes in your life.
You choose to remain in a toxic environment without taking action.
You're unable to actively engage in the process.
YOU WILL HAVE A FABULOUS OUTCOME (as most clients achieve) IF:
You're willing to do whatever it takes to create change.
You prioritize your well-being and ensure your environment (work, home, mind) is free of toxicity.
You fully engage in the process with wholehearted commitment.
If you have any other questions, please email me at barbara@schoolofmodernpsychology.com and I’ll look forward to assisting you.
If you’re ready to begin, then check the online booking calendar below for suitable dates.
You will need to have appointments scheduled one week apart, ideally on the same day/time to gain the full benefit of this work.
When ready, book your first appointment using the calendar below.